I was chatting with Kerri tonight on facebook and mentioned that I'm not really sure if I should keep up with writing here. I will be the first to admit I'm not really much of a writer. I mean I can write a research paper like nobody's business. I have an analytical scientific mind, always have probably always will. This whole blogging thing... not so much my strong suit. As you can see senior year (take 2, yep I'm a 5th year) has been keeping me pretty busy and away from the computer.

However, there are weekends like this past weekend where I feel like I'm barely human. I do homework between naps and spend a lot of my time in bed with my laptop or propped up with pillows on the floor with books or my laptop around me trying to get studying done. By the time 8 or 9pm rolls around I'm so worn out that there just isn't anyway I'm going to get to have fun Friday night plans. I might stay up to watch something on Netflix but otherwise nothing wild is happening here. Just gonna take my evening meds, a dose of ventolin to keep my lungs open while I sleep and curl up in bed. The part of this that makes it so hard is that I *only* have a cold. It's isolating to have friends who don't get it. Yes, I'm not well, but no I'm not going to completely put my life on hold. Sometimes I just need to scream at the world.

I also don't need the sympathy good job from my friends when I finish yet another 5k in 40 some odd minutes. Guess what you all are healthy 20 year olds whose brains process motor skills instructions in a "normal" fashion. At the end of the race not only are my lungs yelling at me, my brain is too. It is just as fatigued as my muscles from the coordination efforts required. I realize that until you've walked a mile in my shoes(or intermittently fast forward motioned it) and I in yours neither of us will 'get it'. Life isn't perfect, I realize I've got it pretty good my future is bright but sometimes I just need to say how I feel without fear of judgement or sympathy or belittling of my achievement or current health situation.

One thing that has definitely always been a barrier to me really developing my writing that I didn't even really think about until recently is that handwriting is something I've struggled with. Keeping a journal is just never been my thing. I can't seem to keep and even keel to my writing in terms of spacing, pressure to the pen, and just general flow. Don't ask me why I excel at typing as a motor skill and suck so much at printing out my words. Perhaps some of the blame falls to the evolution of society as a whole. We have moved away from the handwritten word and towards electronic composition. Typing is a skill I need to survive. My slow sloppy inconsistent handwriting gets me by for the things that I need it to, like writing checks and short notes to people.

Hey Y'all.
Clearly the whole National Blog Month thing didn't go very well for me. I did however do a 5k on November 20th. It was right above freezing. My lungs weren't very happy campers (read at least 6 puffs of ventolin was involved in this adventure). I didn't have a very good finish time: 45:37, official times TBA. I did jog quite a bit. I also felt like I was breathing shards-o-glass. I'm pretty sure I finished last. I was too busy balling my hands up in side my jacket to take pictures. The temperature didn't get me so much as the wind. It was an okay time. I think the fitness goals for the winter are going to shift more towards swimming or rowing or something indoorsy.
As you can see quite a spikey intermittent forward motion fitness event. I know the distance and time are a bit off. I started it a little early and ended it a little late(the water cooler was mighty tempting). I did get to try out a new bra "shock absorber" quite nice, really keeps the girls from bouncing pretty well. The course was around St. Louis University's campus, which is decently pretty. The markings would've been better had the weather not been kind of a foggy/misty/dampness outside since they used sidewalk chalk. All on sidewalk which was nice. Quite a few decent hills which is where most of the slow downs in speed comes from. The track club which puts the event together was out at every turn to point you in the right direction. Maybe about 50-75 people did the event, which was a benefit for the canned food drive/campus food pantry in the holiday season. It was good to get back in the saddle even if it wasn't a PR by a long shot.

At present fitness is kind of on hold. I'm working on a nice cold thing that has gone down to my lungs. It was up in my head most of this week and then moved down into my chest over the last 24 hours or so. Which is fun or something. So far just a nasty cough and short of breath. Not much peakflow drop which is good I guess. Homework has got me pretty well buried. Finals are not this week but the next. I'll try to be more bloggy, as finals permit.