It occurred to me when I was commented on Kerri's post the other day(last week) that I don't believe I've ever explained how the title of my blog came to be. I far to often tell someone to Join the Club! When they complain about being sick/not feeling well. Like many people with asthma, allergies, and other invisible illness, if I frequently don't tell you how blech I'm feeling.  So when my friends(or occassionally complete strangers), are being whiners, I tell them to "join the club!"

Okay not this kind of club :P

This is not to say that I don't whine about feeling like $#!+ occasionally too. I do that far too often. I am trying to avoid doing it but it is a challenge to face feeling like you are inhaling shards of glass or there is a vice grip around your sinuses. I can honestly say I've gotten better at looking on the bright side of things even when I feel like just curling up in a ball and napping all day/night. However, I am really making an effort to stay positive and find the happy things in life.

Were it not for asthma and a latex allergy I would've never found some awesome people on listservs and blogs. I would've probably also never started running. I always took it for granted that I couldn't run. Graceful, is probably still not a descriptor for my stride nor is lightening. However, I get out there and pound the pavement and that's what counts.

So welcome to the Club, we're a ragtag bunch of folks, but we know how to have a good time and live life even when the going gets tough. We may never change the world but we might inspire some people who knows maybe we might just change the world when we aren't flaring. :P So keep on rocking it out here in the Club, do what you do be your awesome self and join in!

The Package :)

So earlier this week I got something very exciting in the mail. I've been waiting on it for a couple weeks now. I believe I've mentioned that my Aerochamber plus has seen better days and I'm a two spacer kind of girl since my coordination sucks. It was time for it to be retired and live out it's years in my asthma archive(yup, i've got a drawer of empty inhalers too, but they have a purpose for which I am storaging them and then the actuators shall be recycled and the canisters trashed).

I admit that it's a bit juvenile, but I decided to go with an AC Boyz chamber since I'm pretty opposed to Pink in most forms and I would feel completely ridiculous pulling that out on the bus. I'm definitely loving the flutter valve inhalation thingy. It does make it easier to see how you are breathing time things correctly. It also makes me feel like I should take up an extreme sport with the skaters and bikers on it. I really enjoyed getting to read the instructions in French. I now know the word for puffer... because that is totally going to come up in all my conversations in French. :P

So, it took me a couple days to get this post together but my life has been pretty busy with homework and studying for exams. :(  Hopefully  I'll finish up some more of the posts, I've been working on soon. I shall leave you with a comparison of the spacers I own (see if you can spot and identify the inhaler hiding in the picture :P). And yes infact an AC plus and an AC Boyz are exactly the same size save the flutter valve.

view leaving campus

So last night(sunday), I was feeling restless and decided some semi-quick forward motion was in order. I tossed on some gym shorts, a technical tee, and my "cold" weather  jacket(okay not for real cold weather but it breathes and is a decent lightweight second layer). Laced up my shoes and messed around with the nike + sensor until it behaved and worked correctly for me. It was just a little nippy outside 50F/10C, not really cold I mean it's not January yet(thank goodness!).
I got going pretty good and got running for a good half mile or maybe little more. I just kind of wandered the mostly deserted streets on the edge of town enjoying the stars and the road passing by.

Overacheiving a bit: 5.2ish km

Over all, it felt great to get out there and go. The lungs behaved wonderfully for the duration of the run/walk. The big dip wasn't even an inhaler break(had to stop to cross the street and tie my shoe).  The only thing I need to remember is that it's now cold enough with the wind that gym shorts are not appropriate running attire after dark. I came back to the warm indoors and the lungs made the transition wonderfully without any tightness or anything a little post flaring: woke up at 71% this morning. This definitely makes me feel a lot better about the 5k in 12 days. I'm pretty sure as long as I get out there and move a bit the next two weeks I should be fine to go under 40.

View as I left campus

So after a little persuasion in the form of comments  from Kerri and MC and some self reflection. I decided that I needed to just force myself to get up off the (couch) desk chair and get out there and put one foot in front of the other. I sometimes let asthma be my excuse for being a slacker which isn't cool.

Start of the Trail on the way out

I had a beautiful day to go for a walk/run/jog/intermittent speed forward motion. The sky was really that blue and it was beautifully sunny(oops... no sunscreen hope I don't find any sunburn tomorrow).  There is a fairly quiet little walking/biking trail not too far from campus that is 1.33 miles(2.14km) one way from my ResHall to the field it dead ends into.  I took it at a mediumly brisk walking pace down until I got to the part that I was going to calibrate my Nike + on.  At which point I discover that my sensor is refusing to be recognized by the iPod. I messed around with the darn thing for a good 5 or so minutes. In which time randomly two bulldogs and their owners come by somewhat scarily(they were really pulling their owners who had them counter weighted by a little red wagon full of bricks).

Heading back to campus, I love the green stuff that surrounds the trail :)

I gave up on the sensor but did run about half a mile(.8 km) and then walked the rest of the way back to campus. All and all it was a pretty awesome start to my hurried training for the 5k in 17 days. I did get my sensor working once I got back to my room and messed around with it quite a bit. Apparently the accelerometer mechanism was stuck somehow since a good thwack seemed to do the trick. All and all hopefully I'll be able to keep the motivation up and keep on going outside before I have to banish myself to the indoors for the winter.

Pepperoni Pizza

I came across a bunch of pizza scraps like this towards the end/start of the trail. I'm not really sure what the deal was with them since they were all cut off, not torn or chewed. and randomly scattered.

That is the question I was faced with as the deadline for early registration for my school's Homecoming 5k loomed about 45 minutes away. I have not been feeling up to jogging/power walking or really much of anything these last two weeks. However, I should probably find some motivation to get up and get moving.I think I've finally turned the flare-ish stuff around. I woke up not only in the green this morning but at 90% PF & FEV1. That was the one thing that was lagging behind these last few days was my FEV1 and I could feel it. I was also just plum tuckered out from the week of less than great breathing. Hopefully, a good night's sleep will come tonight to close my first (fingers crossed) ventolin-free day in almost 2 weeks.

I'm hoping if all goes well that I will be able to get back to some semi-vigorous pounding of the pavement tomorrow. I was doing pretty solid 16 minute mile 2.6ish mile(4.2ish km) walk/jogs before hormones tanked the lungs into purgatory for a good 10 days.  In the interim I've acquired a new toy: Nike + to go with my iPod nano (in case you couldn't guess from the picture). I can't wait to try it out and see it in action! All in all I'd like to go under 40 minutes for the 5k. However, it is October 16th which is fast approaching. I'm not sure if I can get myself going quick that soon. As usual mind over matter but carefully engaged with the lungs.

I'm not sure if this is a dumb idea to try to throw together a 5k training session into 18 days. I'll try my best. If nothing else I'll power walk it and still make it across the finish line. Hopefully the cooler fall weather will make it slightly easier to complete than my July yellow air quality 85F at 8am 5k that I did. Normally as long as the leaves don't mold fall is a nice time for me breathing wise(the last two weeks hopefully being an anomaly).  We'll take it slow and steady and most likely won't win the race but that's okay. I can only hope it's not like last year which was in the 40's when the race started. Average for this part of the country for that time of the year is 40's for lows and 60's for highs. I don't mind the cooler temperature I just don't want to have to wear sweats in public! Of course I really need to figure out what my cold weather on the bottom strategy is for running/walking. Since as long as it is not icy I'm willing to run up to a certain point with the wind speed and air temperature factored in. Generally around 10F(-12C) the lungs start to whine at me about outdoor exertion and at about -5F(-20C) they whine about being outside what-so-ever.

In non-running related Asthma stuff I'm trying out one of the free iPhone App's (yes, I know I'm too addicted to Apple products), AsthmaMD. I downloaded it last night while I was trying to fall asleep despite my lungs not behaving.  My first impression is that it is probably not my speed. I'm not really liking how I can't enter custom zones for my PF's. It's cool that they are using the data to research patterns, etc in Asthma on a huge scale. However, I'm not sure if the App is gonna be a hit for me. I'll let you all know what I think of it once I've messed around a little more.

I'm still here feeling under the weather. The lungs are holding their own. I'm not sure if I'm coming down with the cold my suitemate has(we share the same bathroom in a suite in the ResHall here) or if it's just allergies I feel yucky but not acutely so. My pf's are holding steady in the upper 80's/low 90's. I just feel generally run down and worn out a little mucus filled but nothing much. Hot showers have been my solace. Something about them makes me feel so much better. Probably mostly related to the heat relaxing my muscles.

I've also been enjoying sitting out in the afternoon sun. Something about the cool crisp fall air with the warmth from the sun makes me feel alive and happy. Probably not the best thing to be doing if the issue is allergies.

I've got a case of the ventolin shakes too. You could hear my dishes rattling as I took them over to the tray return this evening at dinner. Getting shaky from the ventolin is a good thing for me though. For better or for worse when my lungs are feeling better-ish they send the excess ventolin into shakes and jitters.

Okay, so I'm a little late on this, my lungs have been misbehaving on me. Breathing takes presidence over blogging. :) So here goes.... 30 Things you didn't know about my Invisible Illness:
1. The illness(es) I live with is: Asthma, Allergies(primarily Mold & Dust), Motor Planning Disorder(now called Dyspraxia or Developmental Dyspraxia), Food Allergies, Latex Allergy
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2009, ~1999, ~1994(Kindergarten), 2010, 2010
3. But I had symptoms since: Elementary School, Elementary School, Birth, 2007, ~2004
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: having to leave the house with more than keys and an ID for the recent stuff. In terms of dyspraxia, I have had to adjust to how to make my body do anything and everything. My muscles don't respond like normal peoples, every new skill is a new adjustment process. 
5. Most people assume: I'm just out of shape or lazy.
6. The hardest part about mornings are:finding the will to get up when it feels like there is an elephant on my chest or a vice grip around my lungs or sinuses. Or I just generally feel like I've been run over by a train because I didn't get any decent sleep the night before.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: House. 
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:Peak flow meter, Aerochamber, and Computer pretty much 3-way tie for first place. My computer really has helped out a lot, not having to write things out long hand helps a lot since that requires a lot of effort for me to keep things neat and correct letter formations, as well as charting my peakflow's. The Aerochamber is pretty much the only way I can get meds into my lungs. Hand-breath coordination is pretty much non-existant for me.
9. The hardest part about nights are: waking up in a full body coughing experience at 2am and then not being able to get back to bed because the inhaler makes me slightly jittery.
10. Each day I take 7 pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) Plus 1-2 inhalers 2-4 times a day.
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: am fairly skeptical. I feel like yoga has helped somewhat with getting me more focused on coordination and breathing otherwise I pretty well stick to traditional ideas.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: visible, people see what is going on they "get" why you aren't participating in xyz or have to do something different.
13. Regarding working and career: I'm still in school, but I other than probably using up a lot of my sick days and looking for a job with good benefits I'm hoping that I will not have trouble with a job.
14. People would be surprised to know: I don't wheeze. Perhaps also of interest is the fact that I have learned to drive a stick shift after many trials and frustration.
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: as far as the allergies and dyspraxia I don't really know any different. Conjuestion and wonky muscle control are part of life in my world. The dyspraxia has given me a strong will which is hard to accept that sometimes I can't because of the latex allergy or the asthma. The will that dyspraxia has taught me was a challenging roadblock to coming to terms with asthma.
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: run. I have however, somewhat taken up running, I'm still not very graceful or fast nor can I go very far. However, baby steps.
17. The commercials about my illness: are pretty much nonexistent other than for Advair.
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: blowing up balloons, going to bonfires.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: cooking banana bread.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging, running(both since the asthma diagnosis).
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: go to a balloon party at one of the local fraternities where they fill their house waist deep with balloons. Drink alcohol. Rollerblade. Be spontaneous.
22. My illness has taught me: the importance of finding the strength within you when it seems like you can't do something. Also how important it can be to have good friends who can help you through the tough times.
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: "It's only just asthma"; "You are allergic to everything"; "You just aren't trying hard enough"; "Should you really be ________, since you have asthma?"
24. But I love it when people: put their arm around my shoulders or pat my back (hugs are difficult when you can't breathe) or are willing to reschedule plans for something low energy like watching movies.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:13
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: you'll never be 'normal' again and that's okay. Find good friends and family who can be there for you in the tough times. It will be okay.
To the ones with Dyspraxia: you will find you own ways to make things happen and it will be okay. Different paths leading to the same end point aren't always bad. Patience is hard, but in the end your self determination and will power are a force to be reckoned with!
To the ones with Asthma: Learn how to control your life and your lungs. Don't accept it as a limit to what you can do, you will grow and learn to find ways to enjoy your old activities. Well unless your favorite activities are things like smoking(but in the long run it's best if you kick the habit anyway).
To the ones with Allergies: Yes, you are going to have to avoid things but sometimes that is for the best. I mean really it's probably best if you don't stand outside when the pollen is so high it's turning everybody's car green. You'll eventually find a good antihistamine and it will be better. :)
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: how awesome the online support community is. There are people out there who I have never met and most likely will never meet and yet they are super great at lifting me up when I'm having a bad day and giving me e-high-fives for the little victories.
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: tell me it was going to be okay, rub my shoulders, and send me to bed.
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: it is time to break the silence of invisibility.
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: happy that you care to learn a little bit more about the hidden part of me.